Here in my heart
by Levi Jennings
Summary: Suze gets seriously ill. One in a billion disease. They didnt heed Dr.Slaski, look what they got. Two entirely different persons helps her recover from the disease that is slowly eating her... Nothing disgusting! Read and review. Longer ver.
1. what if's

Hei, so far, I only had 1 review, but it's totally up to you, no _pressure_

This story contains a lot of drama, touchy stuff.

You have been warned!

summary: Suze and Paul went back in time and saved Jesse, they did not fail. (I forgot the spelling of suceed heheh)

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From twilight:

Finally, I turned E.T off and went, "Let's just talk."

By which of course I meant: Let's make out.

"I almost forgot. What was Paul doing at the mission tonight? Has he found his religion?"

This was so outlandish that I pulled my arms from his neck and went "What?"

"Your friend Paul, I saw him a little while ago, in the basilica... which was closed. Do you think he has received his calling to priest hood?"

I wrenched myself away from him.

Well, if you've been suddenly been siezed by stark white terror, you would have done the same thing.

* * *

This is the part where Suze goes back in time to stop Paul

I just skipped the long parts it's the same as the book anyway

* * *

Why? Why had I taken french not Spanish?

"What did he say?" I hissed at Paul.

"He said: So It Is True, Shut up so I can hear."

"HE said, Yes it is true I am indeed here to kill you."

"Maria sent you?" Paul translated the one Jesse said.

Diego laughed then nodded

The two men teetered dangerously on the edge of the hayloft floor, which was a 12 feet drop by the way.

Diego lunged at Jesse, by doing so, he knocked the oil lamp, setting the hay surrounding us, on fire.

The fight was getting more and more dangerous as they held knives ready to plunge.

I was about to attack Diego from behing when he suddenly grabbed me by the neck, holding me hostage.

"Put down your knife or she dies." Diego said fiercely to Jesse.

I couldnt see Paul from where I was, it was very very dark even with the hot flames licking our skin.

Jesse did as Diego said but Diego didnt release me, instead he kicked Jesse's knife over to the edge of the hayloft, falling into the flames.

I felt diego tense up, Paul was there behind him, choking his neck, I felt Diego'g grip from my neck release a bit, I struggled to get out, I did so but I managed to get a big slash from the ear going down tothe side of my chest, I was bleeding very badly but Paul was now being chocked by Diego, Jesse hit diego in the sides with something made of metal, He let go of Paul but not with aloud smack at the adbomen. Paul fell on me, I catched him, saving him from the flames that was going to catch him too.

"Thanks." he said in a raspy voice. I pushed away the gentle curls that fell to his eyes, he closed his eyes, then I saw, from the light of the flames surrounding us,A long scar slashed his cheek, I wiped the blood,with my hands, he winced a little, Jesse and Diego were still fighting but, I didnt quite care that much,If Jesse dies now, nothing would change and the same goes for Diego. I know it's selfish but, Paul has a future ahead of him, I wont let it fade just because he wanted to have me.

I felt his abs, I wasnt copping a feel.

I felt something wet it was bleeding, I opened his polo shirt then ripped the edge of my tee, then used it to wipe his wound, it was very deep and it was fatal since it was by a knife. I ripped some more cloth from my tee, I was almost naked of course I had a bra, but who cares? The bleeding wont stop. I felt Paul's pulse on the neck, he was lying motionless already, His pulse was growing weaker and weaker...

"Hold on Paul, hold on," I whispered to his ear almost kissing his cheek while my right hand was pressing the cloth to his wound.

His eyes fluttered a little bit then whispered "Suze..."

"Paul!" I hugged him but I minded the wound so I immediately let go, gently.

I wiped his sweat from his face then: "Paul, you'll be okay, you'll be okay..." I said to him gently.

His face was twisted in Pain...

I never saw him like that before and I felt a pang of guilt...

_If only I had loved him more maybe this wouldnt have happened..._

_If only I was not a shifter maybe..._

_If only Jesse and I didnt meet, maybe he would'nt be hurting emotionally and physically now..._

_What if, I told myself the truth and stopped lying..._

_lying about my feelings..._

All those things I've felt were true, I cared, I might have possibly loved this guy but here he was, dying in my arms.

But I had to lie, all these started out as a little lie, a little denial... that got bigger, piled up.

All those thoughts of him I wrote on my diary... they were an indication...

I cared...

From the first time I met him...

When he left me and Jesse there in shadowland: The record I kept in my diary was true, I was intimidated. Not angry, but I kept telling myself that I was angry... So I believed that I really was.

That kiss... the kiss that made the fireworks in my head go off, the kiss that made my foot pop, like in the movies.

It was real.

And now...

He is dying... that is real.

Jesse and Diego was still fighting but I didnt care anymore.

"Suze..." Paul reapeated again, every word was hard for him to say already...

His eyes were glittlering in the flames... like Ice burning... I realized he was getting teary...

"Yes?" I asked him.

He groaned again, his face defenitely pained, I wiped the sweat from his eyes...

HE closed his eyes...

"Paul? Paul... Paul! answer me godammit!" I said as my vision blurred, it was getting harder to breath because of the fire that was quickly consuming the whole barn, including us.

Paul still didnt move, I felt his pulse, it was defenitely going out, weaker by the minute... by the second... time was running out...

I had to say the truth... now or never.

I stopped the blood from going to his eyes then brushed his bangs from his face...

"Wake up." I said in a whisper... (she chickened out)

His eyes fluttered a bit but didn't open.

His mouth smiled a bit, it was his famous smirk but this time, it was a bit different already, I see it, fading... a tear fell from his closed eye...

His face frowned a bit, in pain.

"You actually care about me now?." He said as he struggled to breathe, I leaned down to feel his pulse. It was defenitely weak, very very weak. I see him dying right here in my arms. If only I knew how to use my powers maybe we'll be out of here.

While my hands were still on his pulse, I felt it... stop.

I felt it STOP.

His breathing stopped.

I know CPR though...

I leaned down... to his lips breathing for him. My thoughts focused to let him live.

Through my closed eyes, I saw a flash of white. When I opened them, We were already in the hospital,Paul was in a stretcher and there were attendants, not moving a muscle, all the people there stopped moving, even the clock... the water that slipped from the old nurse's cup, stopped from falling, Paul was still motionless, I was the only one moving.

Then another flash. Everyone started to move as if nothing happened, I immediately pulled away from Paul because the attendants were shooing me already.

What about Jesse and Diego?

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Reviews pls.?

L.J


	2. don't give in to the pain

preiously...

through my closed eyes, I saw a flash of white. When I opened them, We were already in the hospital,Paul was in a stretcher and there were attendants, not moving a muscle, all the people there stopped moving, even the clock... the water that slipped from the old nurse's cup, stopped from falling, Paul was still motionless, I was the only one moving.

Then another flash. Everyone started to move as if nothing happened, I immediately pulled away from Paul because the attendants were shooing me already.

What about Jesse and Diego?

* * *

I shifted back to 1850, specifically thinking of that scenario I left. Slowly, the post shifting head ache was starting already, but I got a few more important things to do. 

I appeared in the barn, and like before, I saw Jesse and Diego, they were motionless for a while, still in deathlocks and a flash, they started moving again, Jesse trying to break free from Diego's head lock... Where's he get that from anyway? couldn't be from Eddie Guerreo cuz he was born a few centuries after him... then again I am side tracked. It's a wonder how I can forget all those pain I'm feeling right now. Major head ache here... Ouch.

Both men still had no idea that I was there. Jesse's eyes were starting to loose brightness as Diego tried to squeeze the breath out of him. I creeped up behind Diego and got a metal sort of thingy... Can't see from the dancing fire around us. I stood there ready aiming for Diego's head.

I hit his head with a loud clank of the metal thingy and He fell to the hayloft ground unconscious and bleeding,releasing Jesse., We were now struggling for breaths due to the lack of oxygen, The fire was consuming all the oxygen, I winced as one of the wooden panels that was fastened on the wall, fell before me, missing me by a millimeter and a half, But the flame came in contact with the long gash that Diego's knife made. I helped Jesse up, He was wounded severely, I can tell just by the way his white polo was dramatically turned into Deep red.He washalf conscious by now and so was I. My lungs were starting to give up and so was my body and life but I knew better now. I'm a shifter, I know what happens after you die, I know I'm going to be a ghost so why not die trying to save a life from an eternity of being invisible and because I know when I die, It'll be an eternity of rest for me.

A wooden panel fell right before my eyes. The barn was shattering in flames, Jesse and I were still in it. The flaming panel missed me by a millimeter and a half, but the flames came in contact to the long gash that Diego made. Jesse was becoming more and more heavy, his weight was almost all on me now. I clumsily limped to where the ladder was.

It was all on fire. I heard a loud creak. Dont tell me how I knew. I moved a cautious step back and Crack! the ladder just gave up. Jesse's breathing is getting more and more shallow and so is mine. I had no more option but to jump. I set Jesse safely on to a part where the flames haven't burnt yet. I kicked the burning wall. It collapsed easily. a stong wind welcomed me. I picked Jesse up.

"Jesse, we're going to jump, count of three okay?"

"Mmmmhhmmm" was all he said.

"one... two... three.. jump!" I said

We both flew the 12 feet. I intentionally landed first so Jesse wouldn't get much hurt. He is heavy I tell you. He squished my wound!

"OOUUCHH!" I screamed.

I expected Jesse to move away but he didnt. I got worried. I stood up, carefully, leting him lay down on the grass.

I felt for his pulse, the one under the jaw.

Weak.

It was déjà vu all over again.

Someone dying in my arms. Both people I care for.

tears started to slide down my cheeks, falling also on Jesse's.

I expect him to wake up. But none.

He was not moving or anything, th erise and fall of his chest stopped.

I started reviving his heart. But no avail. I started to do CPR...

My first kiss with live Jesse and he's dying already. Why does HE hate me? Did I ever do anything wrong?

Cpr again but still none.

I was now on hyperdrive as tears fell down like mad from my eyes. I started banging his chest real hard.

"Jesse! wake up! you big duff! Please wake up!"

"Wake up! Now! Don't tell me I went back here for nothing..."

"Jesse..."

I had one last hope in me.

"Please, wake up." I whispered before I kissed his lips, my tears falling on his eyelids. His eyes started to flutter open... I pulled apart.

He started coughing real bad.

I patted his back,

"Jesse, Oh my God, I thought I lost you there! but I wouldn't really be losing you and all because you'll be in my bedroom anyway.." I started babbling.

He was still coughing. He stood up but fell back again, I helped him sit, still patting his back.

"Querida, I- I can't thank you enough." he said hoarsely.

"Shh, I know. Are you okay?" He looked at me weirdly.

"Oh, sorry, stupid of me."

He examined his wounds, not much there.

"Feel a bit better now?" I asked

"Yes, still, thank--"

he gasped as he looked at me.

"What?" I asked defensively

"You're hurt, querida! Badly! Let me see." He said in that deep sexy voice filled with compassion for me.

"Oh, would you look at that, It's just a scratch, I'll live." He touched it and I winced.

"You're hurt, I'll take you to our town doctor, He'll know what to do."

It was only now that the wounds hurt, physically and emotionally.

"Jesse,"

"No, querida."

"are you really okay now?" I asked.

"Of course, I can manage these, but you, Diego's knife is very sharp and not to mention old."

I kissed him on the lips, lightly. He was startled and I pulled away.

"You take care okay? I don't want this all to go to waste." I said silently to him,

He woke up from his daze, something suspecting shone in his intelligent eyes.

"Why? what's going to happen next? Don't tell me you're---" I cut him off and kissed him on the lips, again, the same startled expression, I closed my eyes and he closed his too, I was about to pull away when he turned it into semi french and after a while we both were frenching already. I had to say goodbye now.

I pulled away, he opened his eyes in a daze.

"Jesse, take care okay?" I patted him on the chin.

"Always smile. You look great when you do." I complemented in my cheeriest voice, despite the severe pain, from my gash and the deep wound I gotwhen Diego plunged a knife somewhere in my abdomen.

I concentrated hard, thinking of the hospital whre Paul was, Istill have to check if he's breathing. I was started to disappear when, I noticed tears running down my precious Jesse's face, I cracked a smile straight from my heart, hey, it was my one last smile for Jesse, I had to leave a greatpicture. He got hold of my hand,

"stay." He said, but more likely asked. he released his grip when he saw me crying already.

I had to be strong.

" Be happy okay? Live ahealthy long life." I said as I patted his head. Giving him an encouraging smile.

Poof. I was back in the hospital, but before I did,

" Don't forget me." I whispered to Jesse

Time stopped again, and after aflash, everybody started moving again, in the light, I saw how bloody I was.

Pain, Shmain!

I'm Suze Simon.Resident Tough Girl of N.Y.

But somehow I am finding myself giving up,

but someway, I know, I have much more to do, people to help, I limped to the reception desk. I was about to ask about Paul whenI saw a familiar body being rushed to the elevator,Paul.

I ran after him, but theelevator closed already, My feet throbbing, my body giving up, I still ran, back to the reception desk, I asked for Paul.

room 215, Still using my strenght, I used the stairs to the 3rd floor, The elevator was unavailable. I fell a few times butcontinued running up. When I finallyarrived at the room, Paul was there, his body only,White cloth was now pulled upto his head.

"No!" I screamed and ran towards him, I flung myself to his lifeless body, wincing at the pain as I did so.

"Paul! NO, not again! wake up, please! listen to me, I love you, you have to wake up. Please!" I cried desperately.

After a few moments of me, crying helplessly. I found the courage to pull the cover down and looked at his face for one last time, He still had those wounds which were now a bit violet, He was so pale.

I found myself in morbid fascination, I traced the out lines of his face, the scars. I didn't know what got into me, I just did what I was doing. I hugged him one last time still smelling the shampoo he used this morning.

A buzzstarted to erupt from me, starting from my heart and raced all the way to my hands. I looked at them in horror.

Two marble sized electric balls that were white was floating about a few centimeters from my palms.

I got one crazy idea I'm not sure of what will happen, but I was desperate.

I held Paul's face, One hand at each side, with a deep breath, I kissed him. I felt all weak inside.

When I pulled apart, nothing happened, I was weaker, th eelctric balls were gone. There was nothing I could do. I reluctantly covered his head with the cloth and stepped out of the room, Letting my emotions replace all the physical pain I'm feeling now. Which is much, much worst than the hurting from my wounds.

I struggled to walk, I slumped into the waiting chair outside the room. My head was buried in my hands when I saw a faint materialization to my right. I looked up.

Just in time, I saw a body in a stretcher, pushed by two live nurses, when it passed me, the hand fell limp on the sides, Paul's hand. I was shocked, stupefied. It entered the room 215 and shut.

My mind was racing... which is not very normal for me.

Out of the corner my eyes, I saw that same ghostly aura.

He was 50 meters away from me, staring at the room, which was halfway down the hallway. He stol;e a melancholic glance around the hallway. I caught sight of the bluest eyes I've ever seen.

Paul's blue eyes.

I ran after him.

but he started to run, towards the room where his body was, there was a blinding light that replaced the room.

I tried calling him, he looked at me, shock registered in his eyes. he stopped running. but he was now floating to the room.

"Paul!"

I was gaining on him already, he was now facing me, but theforce was pulling him to the room,

His hand was outstretched to reach my hand I was too,

I was gettin gweaker and weaker by the second, I didn't know much.

I guess, I slipped from my blood or something.

My eyes rolled upward, my head with it and with a loud thunk, I fell to the floor unconscious. My wound defenitely squished, I can't say ouch now.


	3. Good 1 point 3 years of sleep

**_Sorry if I haven't updated in like forever... I was coping you know... My stories were deleted and I'm writing them again But this time it'll be better... A little different actually. To those who used to read My Chemical romance... I'll be updating it Its already entitled UNTIL THE DAY I DIE. Title implies... same old same old..._**

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**_Previously..._**

_I tried calling him, he looked at me, shock registered in his eyes. he stopped running. but he was now floating to the room._

_"Paul!"_

_I guess, I slipped from my blood or something._

_My eyes rolled upward, my head with it and with a loud thunk, I fell to the floor unconscious. _

* * *

My eyes felt heavier than usual and my bed was harder. 

I opened my eyes and closed them again, the light was so bright.

"Oh my God!"

"Look, she's opening her eyes." I heard voices coming from the side of my bed.

I opened my eyes… blurred images zoomed to my view, it took me minutes to realize they were humans.

Brunette hair and a short blonde one.

"Mom? Is that you?" I asked the blurry brunette. I can only guess.

"Andy?" I asked the other figure…

"Oh, Suzie! You got us really scared! We missed you so much at home!" My mother sobbed into my shoulder as three more images, I can guess are my stepbrothers. faint outlines on their faces curved upwards, they were smiling.

"Mom, what happened? Where am I?" I asked in a raspy voice.

My vision got clearer and just in time, I saw Andy and mom exchange startled glances at each other and so did my brothers.

"Suzie… You don't remember?" She asked.

"No, mom... Why? What's happening? How come I can't remember anything?... Mom!" I sobbed hysterically and tried to stand up. A pain shot up from my abdomen and it traveled up to my head. Then another one coming from my leg... I felt a pinch or something from my stomach and I plunked back down the bed.

"Suzie, Suzie! Nurse! Somebody get a nurse" Was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.

**(A/N: dont get confused please. There is a long period of time before Suze woke up the second time.)**

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* * *

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**3rd person POV**

Susannah took in a sharp intake of breath and bolted upright in her hospital bed.

It was a dream… A blurred face reaching out to her but the owner of the face was floating away… The blurred face became more and more blurry… Then someone stroked her cheek.

The man in front of her was startled too but regained composure immediately.

Suze was still adjusting her line of vision when another pain shot up from her abdomen and she plunked back down the bed but this time she didn't loose consciousness. The outlines of the room became clearer now and a face loomed over her curiously.

When Susannah's eyes met his, there was this yearning like feeling that buzzed inside Susannah.

The doctor smiled cutely at her, he wrinkled his nose and gave her a one sided grin where his dimple was prominent. A strand of hair fell down the doctor's face and he blew it back in place.

"God, he's hot." After a few months of sleeping like a dead person, that was the first thought that came into her mind.

The doctor noticed Suze staring at him,

"Susannah Simon?" he asked while he was raising both his eyebrows at her in a delighted and questioning manner.

"Yes?" was Suze's smart reply and deep inside her neurons were secretly sending SOS messages to her brain. _"Oh my God. I must look terrible!" she thought. _A look of supreme vulnerability washed Suze's face but she realized the doctor was still looking at her, rather intently she might add. Suze cracked a toothy yet confused smile. The doctor ran his hands to his hair and smiled fondly at Suze.

"Good…." the doctor cut himself off.

"Night." and added humorously.

Suze found this odd because they just met and he wants to say good bye already.

"I must be terrible" She screamed mentally.

Confused, Suze looked around and noticed the clock beside her bed it was already11:50 pm.

"Oh…" She trailed off.

"Yeah, Oh…" The doctor mocked… but in a humorous manner.

Suze narrowed her eyes a bit at the doctor. Wondering… who he is, how old is he, is he really that friendly… but basically she just wanted to know who he is. Period. That's what her brain tells her anyway.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name…." She said but the doctor cut her off in mid sentence.

He sat comfortably at the side of the bed and faced Suze.

Suze's defense mechanism was up… her hands tensed but as she did so, her head throbbed, like she felt her heart beating inside her brain, which was a little weird…

"Susannah, how are you feeling?" The doctor asked.

"Peachy… just plain peach…y." she answered looking anywhere else except the doctor's face.

"Oww." she squeaked.

"Why? What is it?" The doctor asked as if he really was concerned…

"Is he?" Suze asked herself.

"It's my foot, I can't feel it… and same as my legs…." She answered trying to move her legs.

"Oh, it's fallen asleep, …you've been dormant you see." He answered carefully.

"Dormant?…." She asked cluelessly.

"Don't you remember anything, Anything at all?" He asked.

"No...?" It was more of a question than an answer.

_"What exactly happened that day? I can't remember a thing... What's happening to me?"_ she thought to herself.

"How you got here?" Doctor asked.

"Ouch... No." Suze answered. Her head ached while she thought hard. She held her temples and massaged it carefully.

"Why?" The doctor asked holding both Suze's hands which were on her temples. There was a jolt of electricity when they touched. Suze looked up in shock and found her self even in more shock when she found that his face were only inches from hers. She had this nagging feeling... but she chose to ignore it.

"It's just... my head...It aches randomly." She answered closing her eyes and secretly taking in the scent of her new friend. The smell wasn't anything strong or spicy... it was plain homey. That familiar smell in pillows, teddy bears and in bed sheets, it was comforting. There was soft shaking from her shoulders. But something was stopping her from waking up, the pain floated away, she felt like she was in heaven.

_"Susannah..." She was in a bed. She opened her eyes and saw that the room was covered fully in pink. She smiled to herself it was a comforting view... she never liked pink but something about this room made her feel light. Her hands felt the bed sheets. It was familiar under her touch. She looked around and saw a bay window she stood up and wrapped her hands around herself while looking at the spectacular view of the ocean. It was getting chilly. Suddenly, she felt warm comforting hands slide from behind to hug her. The person behind her rested his head on her shoulder. His breath was tickling her sensitive skin. She closed her eyes, sighing in contentment. Suddenly, she felt soft lips meeting hers and his kiss was very smooth but a bit rough. A voice started to call her. "Suze, Dinner's ready!" With that, the lips on her pulled away and suddenly, air entered her system.She started chocking and coughing._

_"Susannah!" It was that voice again. This time she woke up._

She jolted from the bed as if it were on fire while coughing loudly. She opened her eyes and saw that the Doctor was looking at her, his eyes were full of concern. Once she stopped coughing, she asked "What happened?" her voice was raspy from all the coughing.

"I think I should be the one asking you that. One moment you were having a head ache then next thing, you... you just..." He can't bring himself to say it. "I just what, doc.?" There was a pause.

"You just... died." he answered

"What!" Susannah asked.

"Calm down, your head might ache again... You were technically dead... but you,... you were speaking but you weren't breathing."

Another pause.

"Speaking?" She echoed.

"Not really, but you were smiling and whispering things. It was very weird." He answered.

"Whispering..." Suze thought again but this time the pain wasn't there.

The Doctor sat down again beside her and she immediately felt something... but she couldn't place it. His heat coursed through her. "What exactly happened?" The Doctor asked. as he positioned himself better, tucking his other foot underneath his other leg. "I was having a dream... I was lying in bed and I was in a room and... It was familiar...I walked around to the baywindow... I was just standing there and there were hands..." She flushed at the mention of this. The doctor gave her a look which says... " Continue..." "The hands were..." She trailed off recalling the sensations, it felt real. His soft hands enveloping her in warmth... "Susannah!" There was a violent shaking from her shoulders. Her eyes sprung open to find the doctor in a very close range to her face. "There, it happened again. What exactly happened?" The doctor asked again. "I was thinking about the dream I had earlier and I don't know, I felt like there was a magnet that didn't want me to wake up... Like those dreams were the realitly... not this." She answered.

"Look me in the eye. Concentrate... Look at the irises... what color are they?" The doctor asked while his hands were holding Suze by the shoulder still.

How ever Suze couldn't answer she just stared... "Okaaay... Just do what you are doing. Keep your eyes open and look. Keep your conscious mind with me." Suze nodded in a daze.

"Tell me exactly what you saw in your first dream."

"Which first?" Suze asked

"Did you dream when you were asleep?" Doctor asked.

"Yes." Suze answered.

"Tell me what you saw."

Suze closed her eyes but to be shaken by the man infront of her. "Keep your eyes open. Just think..." He instructed.

"I was in a hospital... there was a man in front of me, he was floating away from me and to the room. He was reaching out for me and so was I... He was... sad. And-- and the room... it turned into a big tunnel of light... Everything was blurry... then I felt a hand stroking my cheek... that's it."

"Like this?." The doctor asked and he demonstrated it. He stroked her cheek. Suze's gaze flickered a bit.

_"Susannah... You are so beautiful..."_

Suze nodded vaguely wondering who said that. "Did you say that?" She asked. "Say what?" He asked back.

"Nothing..." She said shyly. "Look back into my eyes and tell me what the next chain of dreams were." He ordered softly

"I, I don't remember any dream anymore, apart of what I told you... That was it." Suze answered. Her gaze was dirested to the doctor's hands which were resting on her shoulders. "Oh, Sorry." He apologized.

"Are you sure? Was that the only dream you had for all these time?" He asked.

"I'm afraid so... How long have I been here actually?" She asked curiously.

"You don't know?" He asked a bit freaked but Suze just shook her head "How long doc?" she asked again.

"A year and three months." The doctor answered carefully.

"Two years!" It was outrageous.

"Susannah! Calm down!" The doctor shushed her.

"Calm down? I friggin wasted my years here in bimbo... limbo, I mean. No, no. that's not true. It was just yesterday..." _But wait I can't remember anything._

"Look around you Susannah!---"

"Suze." She corrected as if programmed.

"Look at you..., your hair, it's longer, look around... everythings changed... time passed you by..." Suze noticed that the doctor was mighty in too deep about her situation. But she took his advice and looked around... the place was full of gifts and cards, baloons teddy bears... filled with "get well soon."something caught her eyes on the far corner of the room, there were a stock of flowers covering the couch. She pointed to it and asked about it.

"I don't know who sends those flowers... when I come up here, they increase. Since you were here, it's been there. No one tried to replace it... We thought it was from someone special." He answered professionally.

"Oh..." Suze answered as she stared into the flowers. "What flowers are they?" She asked. The doctor chuckled a bit. "I don't know much about flowers but I believe those are a combination of oleander and monkshood... I don't know about the rest... oh, some are lilies of the valley." He answered.

"What do they mean?" She asked again.

"Get well soon? maybe?Look, I'm no florist. How about this, I'll research on those flowers and you... go back to the topic."

"Wait. Those? from who are they, they're lovely." Suze was awed at the blooming flowers at the counter beside of her bed

He smiled. "Those are from me."

Suze flushed.

"What flowers are they?"

"Primrose and white hyacinths,yellowAcacia, a fig and that tall yellow one is a jonquil."

"Wow. Where'd you get 'em?"

"Yard."

"What do they mean.?" Suze asked as if she was a little toddler.

"You, look those up. now can we please stick to the topic?"

"Yes."

"What do you think triggered these dreams?"

Suze thought hard... at one point she closed her eyes and only to find herself being dragged back to reality.

"Touch." she answered.

He nodded in agreement. "The first one, someone stroke your cheek, then, what about the other ones?"

There was a pause and all that she could here were the crickets outside.

"Yes,... that's it." He stood up. "I revived you earlier... I touched you. No, that was after... ah, I touched your temples right? that must be it."

"Uh-huh..."

They tried to trigger the memories again but it wasn't working. He came to a conclusion that these memories are triggered randomly by places that she has been touched before by the person whe knew.

"Where are my parents?" Suze asked.

"Your mom..., I'm sorry to be the one to inform this but she had a heart failure which led to a stroke." Susannah's eyes bugged. "Don't worry, she's fine now."

Another pause.

"What date is it?"

"September 14 2006."

"What about my schooling?"

"It's all taken care of. Don't worry."

"Susannah, I have to leave you for now. Doctor Wilcox is coming to chek up on you and we will be contacting your family so they can visit." With that, he stroked my hair and smiled at me. He picked up his clipboard from the table and walked towards the door.

"Wait..., what's your name?"

"Doctor De Silva but you can call me Jesse."

"Good night, Jesse,"

"You too, querida." Then he put his reading glasses on and walked outside.

_"What does querida mean?" She asked herself._

She lay there in bed. Thinking of how familiar Jesse's dark eyes had been, how friendly he was, how charming his Spanish accent was and how old he might be. She tried recalling things... but failed miserably. The door opened and in came doctor maybe in his early thirties or late twenties.

"Hello Susannah, I am Doctor Wilcox."

"So... let's start. How have you been feeling lately? Any sudden pains? head aches?"

* * *

"What do you mean One in a million!" Deborah Simon erupted at the doctor in front of her.

"Honey, honey… Calm down…." Andy Ackerman shushed her wife as she fell helplessly into his arms.

"How come it had to be Suze? She's young, she's only 16 and you tell her this!" Deborah Simon said

"It pretty much shocked us all at first. It's something new. A breakthrough in diseases." The blonde doctor Wilcox announced.

Deborah Simon rolled her eyes in a heated manner and tempted to lunge the doctor even if she was now bound in a wheel chairbut Andy's grip on her was firm.

"Look, doctor…. Whatever, Just shut the hellup already okay?" Andy said viciously at the now trembling doctor.

"Hello, I am Doctor De Silva..." He introduced as he came in the conference room.

Dr. Wilcox gave him a thankful look.

"I have a proposal on how to help the situation of Susannah..."

"Yes, we must make the most of her condition and grant her a new beginning, what do you say?" Wilcox cut in, in a desperate attempt to look good.

"What are the risks?" Andy asked

"Yes, and what do you want in return?" Deborah asked curiously.

* * *

It's quite along one... hahah! I updated! 

allelujah!

Sorry for all the typos and such. My bad.

Summer is here! yay!

L.J

I want nice long reviews...

And what is getting "flamed?" if you don't mind me asking.


	4. HIM

**_I know it's short but you'll be updated on the story anyway. heheh, tnx._**

* * *

**_Previously..._**

."How come it had to be Suze? She's young, she's only 16 and you tell her this!" Suze's mother, Derbora Simon Ackerman erupted at the shaking doctor Wilcox.

"It pretty much shocked us all at first. It's something new. A breakthrough in diseases." The blonde doctor Wilcox announced.

Deborah Simon rolled her eyes in a heated manner and tempted to lunge the doctor even if she was now bound in a wheel chair but Andy's grip on her was firm.

"Look, doctor…. Whatever, Just shut the hell up already okay?" Andy said viciously at the insensitive doctor.

"Good Morning, I am Doctor De Silva..." He introduced as he came in the conference room.

Dr. Wilcox gave him a thankful look.

"I have a proposal on how to help the situation of Susannah..."

"Yes, we must make the most of her condition and grant her a new beginning, what do you say?" Wilcox cut in, in a desperate attempt to look good.

"What are the risks?" Andy asked curiously.

"Yes, and what do you want in return?" Deborah asked suspiciously

* * *

_"Watch it punk." The unsightly bald man bellowed at me. _

_"What are you going to do about it?" I demanded. _

_"This." He threw a punch aimed at my nose but I immediately caught his flying fist with my palms._

_"You're going to regret that." I warned lightly._

_"Oh, Yeah?... owwwww..." He squirmed as I twisted his fist around. I smiled cruelly at his screwed up face then proceeded to do a round house kick targeting his face. My foot drove him to the ground and I stepped on his back as if I just concquered new America._

_"Listen up, you don't just let a girl like me do frickin push-ups for a hundred times! That's frickin sadistic! You masochistic ego balloon!" _

_"It wasn't me, I swear it was..." He trailed of._

_"Him" He croaked out as if he just saw this "Him" walk in and yes, cliche me this, there he was. _

**_His precious Jessienes... _**

_He chuckled darkly at me which made me release the man under me who crawled to HIM's foot as if begging. However, his Jessieness just ignored his stupid whimpering pet._

_"What are you going to do about it?" He challenged me. I admitI was scared. Trembling. Peeing on my pants. Teeth chattering and yet... I feel so so seduced... his pretty dark eyes glistened with something so secretive and inviting that it scares the hell out of me but makes me want to find out... to jump at him and... ahem... kill him. Grrr. yeah, meow._

_He walked towards me, holding something that makes me scream: Yeah boy!... naughty._

_His staff... he was holding his staff which he constantly twirls._

_I was stuck. I couldn't run. I felt like my feet was glued to the ground. _

_See Suzanne isn't really a tough girl, at least not obviously. Especially when it comes to HIM..._

_"SIMON" He called out sternly in his stiff military voice which if used on you, could make you jump of a cliff. I swear he is that commanding. Even after a few years he still has that affect on me._

_Then there was a loud slap. A sound I truly hate._

I awoke immediately with the usual drill.

I stood ubruptly, saluted and boomed out. "Sir yes sir" with that far away look that makes me concentrate more.

"Simon! You, tell me the 12 top American Poets who were exiled in Europe." Commodore Dewery commanded in a tone that makes you wonder if he's a masochist or a sadist. I swear to God if I ever dream about anything with this guy in it, I swear, I'd loose hope.

I recited the twelve poets unblingkingly at his ugly face that was looming over me.When I was finished, he didn't seem satisfied. He didn't see me squirm. He fired off a lot of questions and I shot them back, the venom in my voice couldn't be less disguised.

"Who wrote the screen play for Voltaire'sCandide in the early90's?" I racked my brain... This wasn't in the lesson. I glared at him, wishing he'd just drop dead. "I don't know sir." My voice cracked as I admitted this. "What was that, Simon?" He asked. His features looked lighter, almost happy. Damn him. "I _don't know_, sir... God!" I sreamed at his face but the last part was a low whisper. "What did you say?" It was so obvious that he was enjoying this, watching me squirm...

I couldn't help it, I rolled my eyes and scoffed unattractively at his face. "Goddammit, Dewery! Can't you be anyless of a Dick head? God!" I called out exhasperately. "Be mature about it! Take it like a man!" Life would be simple wouldn't it? But no, I had to rely on my imagination to put him off instead I just answered frankly. "I said I don't know, Dewry, enlighten me" With that he threw a pocket knife to the wall behind me, but not before it scraped a part of my neck, The knofe was planted tp the wall with a joicy "thump"

"That's it. You're getting it now. Out!"

That's where I found myself infront of Him.

_

* * *

_

This chapter's just a teaser heheh just to say, I'm still alive. heheh. 

This Chappies dedicated to Starlight reader, she supported this story when I thought it was useless. Just tell me what you think, you can suggest, you can flame me (not brutally though. It's against my emo)

Hei, I'll be having a new account. Watch for it. I'll be posting "Pre ordained Seraph" remake under it and maybe the other ones too. Who knows?

Luv,

L.J


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